So I know our goal was to write every 2 weeks to a month. Yeah.... Blew that one out of the water. But we do have a good excuse… a couple actually. It is an understatement to say that our lives have been changing, and changing rapidly at that. It is no secret (especially with Shannon Collins as a soon to be Grandma) that Braden and I are expecting our first child! WHOO HOO!!! The Lord has been so gracious to us. It actually took us a little off guard. We had been told by many not to have our hopes up and getting pregnant can be a very long and frustrating time. We did not fit in that mold.
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Baby at 10 weeks |
A grand total of one time trying and Baby G. is now in the oven. That first pregnancy test blew us out of the water with a nice clear + sign. Nothing really can prepare you for such a change. Watching my body and my health alter before my very eyes has caused me to panic, cry, and celebrate all at the same time! What a wonderful (though painful) opportunity for me to learn to die to myself for the good of this child. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “But [Christ] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” My wonderful husband reminds me of this often – as it is very easy to forget when you are exhausted by 8 o’clock and thinking that sleep is the only true escape from the nausea. Morning sickness, fatigue, and constant trips to the bathroom at 3 a.m. were definitely far from my radar when I romantically thought about the notion of having my first baby. In fact, my brain skips right to the cute big belly (never the back pain though) and the baby that comes shortly thereafter. But we are still a long way from that. I am currently 10 weeks with a baby the size of a kumquat (whatever that is). It's amazing though that just a few weeks ago the baby was only the size of a poppy seed!
The Lord began convicting us about bringing a child into this world several months ago. It was not a ‘NOW IS THE TIME’ type voice, but a steady desire to start a family. That voice should never be denied. We didn’t know how we would pay for it or how we would be able to function without my income, but through the help of several close friends from our church we were able to come to this conclusion – it isn’t faith if you have all your ducks in a row before you make a decision. There a 3 purposes for a godly marriage according to scripture:
1) To be a representation of Christ and his love for the Church (Ephesians 5)
2) Companionship (Genesis 2:24)
3) To bear godly seed [children] (Genesis 1:18, Psalm 127:4-5)
What we have come to learn is that children should never simply be the mentality, "We will have kids when we have X job, X home, X savings, etc." Convenience isn't what it is about. But a desire to fulfill the Lord's purpose for marriage whenever HE sees fit, even if it hurts my career/savings account/freedom/______. Don't misunderstand me, I don’t presume to know or dictate other peoples convictions on when as where this takes place in life (it is never my place to judge such things - Romans 15), just commenting on a mentality that is so easy to have in this time and culture. It is a gift as well as a command from that Lord that we should be willing and eager to fulfill whenever the He impresses it upon us.
And God be praised, in our faithfulness to honor the Lord in having children, the Lord chose to bless Braden with a new job one week after we found out we were pregnant. He was so faithful to provide us with the finances for our baby that had caused us so much fear and doubt just weeks before. At the beginning of last month (February), Braden was offered a job at his long time home, Holiday World & Splashin’ Safari in Santa Claus, IN. Within 2 weeks of the job offer, Braden was here is Santa Claus and I was left at home to back the boxes. The Lord truly blessed me with the assistance of Shannon, my lovely mother-in-law, who spent the week helping me (or rather, I was sporadically helping her) pack up to move back in with Braden’s parents until we save enough for a down payment on a house. Braden seems to really be enjoying his new job, though he has come home a bit overwhelmed the past few days – inevitable when learning a new job, I guess. We are hopeful that this will really be an opportunity for Braden to advance in his career and teach him to grow in his ability to work and lead the family better through providing.
I am hoping to substitute teach until the school year is over then simply work to prepare our new home (if the Lord choses to bless us with one by then) for the new arrival in September. It is humbling to move back in with parents after 5-6 years of independence - especially when it is our turn to start paying them back for all their kindness over the past 20 some years, but both sides of Braden's family, Jim and Shannon and Mike and Sue, have loved us and blessed us abundantly in this time of change. Jim and Shannon are allowing us to live with them. Mike and Sue have been so wonderful and helpful as we begin our search for a house (they have already scoped several out for us!) and, as the King and Queen of hard work and house flipping, I am sure we will be relying often on them to help us whip our 'fixer upper' into shape for the baby. I don't know what we would do without either of them.
Tomorrow is Braden and I's first prenatal visit (Lord willing we may hear a heartbeat tomorrow!). We ask for continued prayers for the baby's health and development. Pray for our hearts and bodies to be ready for the ups and downs of parenthood, and the patience and discipline to teach our baby to love and know the Savior of the world, Jesus Christ.
Grace and Peace be to you all, dear friends and family!
