Summers Here!

Happy Spring! … Oh wait… maybe not… kinda feels like we missed it all together, doesn't it? Or maybe it was just that the winter felt like spring, so now spring feels like summer? Either way, it’s hot out there already! Which is the key signal for the news that Braden’s Holiday World season is in full force and there are people flooding into Santa Claus, Indiana. It is amazing to live in such a sleepy little town all year with a population of around 2,000, only to wake up one morning to find cars pouring in from all directions with well over 10,000 people coming out of them (up to 20,000 a day by July). This nuclear spring weather has brought water park crowds earlier than usual. Braden and I went to the park a few days ago so that I could finally ride their awesome new water ride, Mammoth, only to find that the line had shut down because the park closed in an 1 ½ and they didn’t think they could get the people through in time. Yikes – and that just in May! I hate to see the line for that in July!!!

Braden is really enjoying his job. He will be taking a Human Resources certification test next June so that he can officially be an HR guy! He has been super busy working on New Employee Orientation (he spent most the winter revamping the online orientation - it looks great now!), Hospitality Training, and Management Training (have you figured out Bradens job description yet). Soon he will also get to plan some neat employee events like the Holilympics! That was really fun last year. His hours are crazy (back to the 50+ work week we both loved so much) but it is helpful to remind ourselves that it is just for a time then it will be back to normal. 

Oh, and it was my birthday! And our 2 year anniversary. The hubby brought be home a beautiful bouquet of roses and we had a wonderful weekend together. We played minigolf and laser tag to our hearts content. My husband just totally gets me... *lost in blissful thought*...Then for Mothers Day he replaced our gross chipped porcelain sink with a broken hose with a stainless steel beauty. I am swooning as I think about it.

Working on my baseball swing?

I love this man...

Who knew mini golf could get so scary?

At the in-laws!

As for me, I have been more than busy at home (who knew that being a Homemaker was so time consuming - oh wait... everyone who has ever done it). I usually have to focus on 1 or 2 rooms a day and one special project (like this blog post). It is hard to imagine what it will be like with a bunch of kids! Having one kid takes so much time already! Who knows what it will be like when we have 8 kids!!! Just kidding... probably...

I have been trying to get Asher up to par on all his developments - he is a little slow on the uptake. For example, kids start rolling over in the 3-4 month range. While Asher did once or twice during that time he didn't start consistently rolling until 7 months! Some kids can crawl at 6. haha. He is sitting up well now, but I still think we may be a month or 2 away from crawling. I don't even have a guess on how long it will take this kid to walk! But he is wonderfully healthy and as happy-a-baby as I have ever seen. He sleeps great now! About 11 hours a night and 2 naps during the day. The Lord has been soooo good to us!

We have had crazy busy lives! The biggest event was earlier this month. I left for a 2 week stint to Pennsylvania for my sisters home (Jenny). I flew out to go to conference on homeschooling with Jenny, but it ended up turning into a 2 week adventure because they needed my help with with their big move and getting their cars getting to Akron, OH. This is where Jace will be pastoring an already existing church.

The conference was excellent and instilled within me a final resolve to homeschool our children. My degree is in secondary education, but I have worked in the classroom setting now with kids from ages K-12 (with the exception of 10th grade - but you'll forgive me for that). I know what the public schools our like. It is a setting so devoid of any of the teaching of the Lord, the kids are often (though I agree not always) unkind, rebellious, and insubmissive to their teachers, not to mention that the curriculum is significantly slowed down to cater to the large class sizes. I don't blame the teacher, they do the best they can with a class of 30+ students! (Hey, I was one of those teachers!) But, looking at the freedom of the homeschool curriculum - how you can tailor it to the specific needs and interests of your child. It is so appealing to me. The kid likes science experiments. After lunch can be totally dedicated to that. Do they love to read? They can spend the whole afternoon reading biographies (on missionaries or presidents, etc), historical fiction, or any other topics that interest them. Do they want to study abroad - let them have a skype language partner! Do they love agriculture? Let them have a garden in your yard and learn about plant life. 

But more than school, I can teach my kids character building at the ages where it matters most. They can learn how to lovingly serve their brothers, sisters, and friends as well as the community. They will be taught the value of hard work for the sake of getting the job done right. Not just in school, but hard work in the community and with neighbors. So many things that you just don't have to time or opportunity to do throughout the day without having your kids at home. If you do not influence them, someone certainly will. I am just not too excited that it could be there peers in the public schools. So many people say that it is too sheltering and they need to understand the real world. They WILL! But that doesn't mean they need to be exposed to 1st and 2nd graders who swear like college students. Or listen to countless 4th graders be openly and unapologeticly defiant and disobedient toward their teachers. Not to disrespect ANY who choose this. I do see the benefits, but if I am able to stay at home, why not use it for my childrens benefit. 

Or about socializion. The reality is, public school really is a relatively new development. Kids 100s of years ago turned out ok when there parents taught them at home - I am sure mine will be just fine. One of my dearest friends was homeschooled and believe it or not - she is totally normal. I never would have guessed she was homeschooled when I met her. I don't know if I will go all the way through high school - but I look forward to this new adventure! ... Hmmm.... maybe I will have to do a post solely on this... 

Oooo this is getting long as usual. Well, a quick sum up of PA. It was wonderful to spend time with Jenny and Melissa and our adopted 3rd sister Happy Kidwell (I mean, no one would ever argue Jeff and Nick arent brothers)! We talked and packed and chatted and packed and ate and packed then chatted when we should have been packing. It was a long week but it was wonderful. I am savoring the time with my twin sister before she heads off to China or Japan or wherever in a few years. It was a wonderful and encouraging time of love and fellowship. What amazing, Godly woman I have for sisters (yes, I mean you too Happy). 

Then, after and short quick 1 1/2 weeks, we were on the road to Akron, OH. The 3 days there were so wonderful! Braden and I were so encouraged by the church members giving and loving hearts. They felt like a family that just cared so much about each other and about taking care of Jace and Jenny. Braden and I talked about how thankful we were that Jace and Jenny would be a part of such a wonderful ministry as Sovereign Grace. Akron itself was nice! We liked the community and they live by lots of things to do, as well as a few organic health food stores (score!). Though one store was charging like $4.50 for a box of pasta and $10 for Nitrate free bacon. Yikes. My guess is Jenny will NOT be shopping there. 

My dad just came to visit last weekend and dropped off his kitty cat for us to take care of while he is in China. It is so nice to have people come see us here. Luckily Holiday World does the trick for many people. ;o) 

And at the same time, a mother abandoned 3 kittens on lawn. I tried so hard to keep them alive! I got up every 2 hours in the night to feed them and tried to keep them clean and get them to go to the bathroom, but in the end 2 died after the 1st day and the 3rd 2 days later. They all had something called myaisis (you can look it up - it is too gross to talk about). In the end, they all did pass away. It was very sad! 

That about sums it up without going on and on too long (Too late?  *sigh*). Keep us posted on your life and happening as well. 

Sarah (and Braden)

A truly GOOD Friday

               Once again, we have failed to update as promised. But we (as of next Monday!) will officially be getting the internet again, so updates will actually be possible. I must say, while we have enjoyed not paying for the internet, not having it has been significantly more difficult than initially imagined. It is hard too communicate certain things with certain people, it is nearly impossible to know anything that is going on in the world (especially since we do not have cable), it is hard to research things that I want to look into at this time in my life (things like homeschooling methods and curriculum, games and traditions for the family, ideas and examples on blogs about how to train and disciple your children, recipes, I have been trying to compile a homemaking binder, working on my other family blog about memories, traditions, and ideologies, etc).

               I do believe however, that this experience has taught me how much time I wasted in the past on the internet. Particularly on things like facebook and my email. I have been significantly more productive without them. Hopefully now that I see how much I don’t need facebook or my email, I will stop checking them incessantly and start remembering that I should honor that Lord by “making the best use of my time, for the days are evil”. Hard to see how I am bringing the Lord honor with my time as I facebook creep people I hardly know, or haven’t talked to in over 5 years.

At the petting zoo

               Things are great here in Dale. Braden is about to start the summer Holiday World season in a few weeks (and he has been putting in the hours to prove it!) and we have been very busy with life in general on top of that! At the beginning of March, we were able to go to South Carolina for vacation! My sisters, my mom, and us all met up at Hilton Head Island. It was so nice and relaxing and we had absolutely wonderful weather. Low 70’s most of the time. It was great to spend time with Jenny and Jace and their children Joshua and Adali (they are too cute!) and Melissa and Jeff and there raspberry sized blessing in her belly! The baby was only a sesame seed when we were in SC though. We were all there when she got to find out! Praise the Lord for His blessings!

At the beach... Asher had some breathing problems because of the wind, as you can see...

Joshua giving Asher a kiss

On the beach again

 What I never realized was how difficult vacations can become when you have little babies! You always are worrying about if you have time to do something before they are going to be screaming for a nap or you are waiting for a nap to get over, deciding when and where you should nurse, trying to find a place where you can change them. Yikes. Always the adventure. But, how wonderful it was to have Braden and I’s first vacation with the start of our family!

               Asher is such a joy! He has truly lived up to the name we prayed over and chose for him. Asher means “Joy or Happiness”. Everywhere we go he is always smiling at someone or kicking his feet in his spastic, excited way! He is always such a happy kid (unless he has a pretty good reason not to be). As for how well he sleeps… eh. That is still something we are working on. A lot of times he will sleep a good 9 or ten hours. You suddenly started to feel like you are always going to be getting a good night sleep and maybe the nighttime spells are over then, BAM, he is waking up every 2 hours and making the nights very miserable indeed. It isn’t so bad now, I can always take a nap when he does (and a lot of times Braden will take him in the morning and let me sleep for another hour or so), but I must confess being a little nervous when we have more than one. Regardless though, I can’t wait to have another! (Cross your fingers for a girl!) Motherhood has been so much more wonderful than I could ever have imagined. I pray that the Lord would continue to give me a heart to grow and nurture my family and not resent what I have had to give up, but to delight in the precious gifts I have gained! Now I just have to get up the courage to brave pregnancy again…

               I am continuously reminded in this season of new life of the goodness of the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Today as I write this post (though it will be posted later), it is Good Friday. And, oh, today is Good! Jesus Christ gave up his life on this day 2000 years ago. Satan rejoiced that the Son of God had been killed by the very people he came to rescue. Even Jesus’ disciples had abandoned him in the garden where Judas betrayed him (well, all but Peter and another, but Peter would deny that he knew him at all before the end of the night). These are the same men that saw him feed thousands with a few fish and bread, the same men who had seen him raise Lazarus from the dead, and walk on water, the same men who had themselves been given the power through him to cast out demons and heal lepers and paralytics. They had fled in fear of their own lives and abandoned the one who gave them life and purpose. Yet Jesus, even though he could have commanded a legion of angels to come and rescue him from this horrible fate, chose to die for these pathetic, hopeless sinners. Sinners just like me. He suffered the agony of a painful crucifixion, but what was worse, on that cross he bore the wrath of God for the sin of every man and woman who would ever come to call upon him as Lord and Savior. Jesus: A man who had never done anything to merit anything but eternal love and devotion. Praise God for his faithfulness to us hopeless sinners.

               And then, in 3 days, he would do what none ever could. He would raise himself from the dead and crush death forever. Now, death is but sweet relief for those he came to save, those who would call upon his name to salvation. What wonderful news!

However, scripture teaches us that it is only good news for those who have come to accept Christ as their Savior and allow Him to be Lord over all your life. In order to be given Life and Life Eternal, we have to let go of our own life. We must die to ourselves, as Christ died for us. The resurrection is only good news for those who willingly give their lives over to Christ and walk in obedience to God and his Word (the bible). For those who don’t, for those who continue to live how they choose without a thought to their own sin and blindness, I plead with you from the bottom of my hear today to understand that accepting Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection for the atonement (or reconciliation) of your sins the only way to heaven and salvation. Your good works are “as filthy rags” to God (Isaiah 64:6). We can never be good enough to earn your way to God. In Galatians 2:21 the bible says, “If [salvation] could be attained to attained though good works, than Christ died for no purpose!” Jesus would not have had to die if you could have made a way to heaven on your own. But he did, and without him, we have no hope to be with God in the kingdom of heaven.

               Thank the Lord that he has given me the eyes to see his goodness and the heart to savor the

 sweetness of his mercy and love! Without him, I cannot imagine the person I would be. So remember, Good Friday is so much more that a day off school or a time to attend an evening mass. It is the day that God himself said “It is finished!” and removed the stone barrier that stood between God and mankind. What a way to go out, eh?

Tender Mercies

Long time no see! I am sure we will be forgiven. Apparently, having a baby takes up a lot of time (who knew)! I guess we have a lot to catch up on over the past 3 months.  

I guess the obvious thing would be with our son, Asher! It is amazing to think that three months ago, he wasn’t with us (if you exclude the womb, which I do because I would rather remember my first time with him as delightful rather than filled with blinding back pain, lol). I understand now why my mother always told me that I may love her, but not like she loved me. It is incredible how much and quickly you can love somebody you have never met, even if they only eat, sleep, poop, and cry. They aren’t even technically cute yet (though I, of course, think Asher was), as they tend to resemble something closer to an old man than an actual baby. But, the Lord instills it in our hearts to love and cherish these tender mercies.

The hardest part to deal with initially was, without question, lack of sleep. I never slept over 3 or 4 hours in a row for over 2 months. Yikes. Ask my husband – he and I valued our 8 hours of undisturbed sleep more than most people we had ever met. If it came down to almost anything, and our 8 hours (like hanging out with friends, movie, date nights) we both usually chose the sleep. Unfortunately, it stops being a choice when you have to nurse a crying baby whose stomach is merely the size of a standard marble (literally). No wonder they are hungry all the time. On more than one occasion, I fell asleep with the baby in my arms in our recliner, only to wake up 30 minutes later with no idea whether or not Asher nursed more than a few minutes (the second biggest challenge of having a baby is keeping a newborn awake long enough to eat! Ha! Ironic how they never let us sleep, yet never stay awake themselves!) The Lord really does give you the grace and patience to do it though – eventually getting up almost stopped bothering me all together!

Now he actually sleeps quite well. He goes down around 8 or 8:30 and doesn’t wake up until about 4:30! I nurse him and put him back to bed within about 20 minutes. Then he will sleep until 7:30 and I just get up with him. He is a super happy baby and rarely fusses for no reason. We have however had a large road block! Around him turning 6 weeks old he started getting really gassy and would scream for up to an hour until he was able to get his farts out because it hurt him so bad! It sounds funny, but was heartbreaking to watch. Watching your baby scream and cry in pain is horrible! This happened several times daily for about a month before we figured out he had a milk sensitivity – so milk, cheese, and butter are out of my diet! He is still gassy sometimes but Mommy’s Bliss Gripe Water is a miracle drug!

 

Halloween was great! Braden’s mom and stepdad threw a Halloween bash in their pole barn. We dressed Asher up in a Tigger costume that was far too big for him (especially the head!) and really had a wonderful time. Good food and company! Braden’s cousin, Shanna, just had a baby around a month after me so we were able to see their new little baby, Emma! I wish we had a picture to show you of the pole barn! It looked awesome. Huge spider webs and banners and things like that. Super cute!

Then for Thanksgiving, Braden and I were able to drive to Pennsylvania to see my sisters! I feel lost with them both being so far away from me so it was absolutely wonderful to see them! My older sister Jenny just had her baby, Adali (A-duh-lie), and we were able to meet our newest niece! She was so precious and already smiling at 4 weeks! Although the drive down there was tragically long (and made 3 hours longer by having to nurse Asher all the time), it was well worth the 3 days with Jenny and Melissa. I cannot wait to see them for Christmas!

Family Photo in PA

Asher and Adali

Asher, Joshua, and a fairly upset Adali

Mel, Joshua, and Asher!

Speaking of Christmas! It is only 2 days away! YAY!!! This is my favorite time of the year. Decorations, family, hospitality, gifts to those you love, and most importantly, a special time to celebrate and worship the Lord and Savior of the world, Jesus Christ.

I am more and more awed, the older I get, to think of the birth of this baby, Jesus. Not just because of the miraculous virgin birth, or the great things he would come to do. But of the humility of it all. God, the king of the whole world, who should have abandoned us all upon the fall of Adam in the Garden of Eden, brought himself so very low as to become a helpless baby for the sake of hopeless sinners like me. Not only that, but he was not born in a palace, or a hospital, or at the very least on a bed. But on the cold floor with stable animals because no one was willing to make room for him. What a foreshadowing of what his whole life and ministry would be like! In his ministry, he was most often rejected and despised by the people he came to save. It is so easy to look at the manger scene as some happy, cute, Christmas story. And while it is great and it is powerful, no mistake about that – it is also very sad. God had come to earth to save us all, and instead of being proclaimed with trumpets and parades, he was only worshipped by a few wise men and some shepherds in a manger because he did not even have a bed to sleep on.

How God could ever offer such a precious gift, I will never understand. But, I will gratefully and willingly receive the gift he has given us in his son, Jesus. He is my only hope for salvation and my only boast to the Lord for making me worthy for heaven. His blood covers my endless sins and makes me pure as snow. Thank you Lord for your great mercy to me and those who love you and walk in obedience to your word!

May the Lord bless and keep you this Christmas season. Remember as you open your gifts and enjoy your Christmas feasts, we are celebrating the man Jesus Christ! Let us spend this time worshiping him, the true bringer of all good gifts (contrary to what Santa may believe :o) ) Glory to God in the highest! And on earth peace and goodwill to Man!

A Baby Story: Asher Christian Gogel

“John 16:21 When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.”

I have read this verse countless times before and wondered what it would be like to be the woman scripture speaks of. What would it be like to endure this ‘sorrow’? And what perfect joy must follow? It was so easy for me to focus only on the latter part of the verse. Our hearts embrace the encouraging while trying to blot out the inevitable. But we, well, at least I,  forgot that in order to attain the joy of the second – you must bear the suffering of the first. This verse took on new meaning and life for me Tuesday, September 13^th.

As are most women by the end of their pregnancy, I was dying to have my baby. The aches and pains of pregnancy are at and all time high and, after over 5 months of debilitating back pain, I was begging the Lord to let this baby come early. My husband and I had just settled down into bed within the past 20 minutes when I began to have fairly intense back pain – not an uncommon occurance. After about 10 minutes of trying to fall asleep (it was 10:30) I decided to get up to stretch out the muscles (as I have done hundreds of times before) when I felt a huge gush. Besides being initially extremely disgusted, I quickly realized what had happened – my water had broken, and 2 weeks early! I suppose my husband and I weren’t prepared to have the Lord answer the prayer for an early birth because we were pathetically unprepared. Everyone in my family had gone into labor after their due dates – I assumed I would follow suit. The car seat wasn’t in the car, the bags were only half packed, and we totally forgot about the snacks we were going to sneak into the labor and delivery room :o) (For those of you who don’t know, most hospitals don’t let you eat during labor and, as labor often last 15-20 hours, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to do a natural labor without a little energy from the food). At this point, I had no contractions, so we hoped that we would be able to get a little sleep that night and I could labor at home for a bit before going to the hospital. No such luck. When we called, they told us to come to the hospital immediately, so we quickly packed our bags, threw the uninstalled car seat in the car, and headed straight for the hospital – right after a quick pit stop to CVS for some snacks. :o)

I felt a little silly being wheeled up to the OB floor in a wheelchair when I hadn’t had a single contraction yet, but they insisted. Upon arriving in the labor room, I had a brief encounter with the nurse in which I had to argue with her for the next 30 minutes that my water had in fact broken (after the initial litmus test came up negative, she told me I may have just peed my pants – to which I asked her if you can go through 4 pads and a towel without recognizing that you are peeing). If it didn’t come up positive, they were going to send us home because I wasn’t having contractions yet. Thankfully, the 2^nd she took off the towel and it was positive. Then the contractions came around 11:30pm. What started out as a simple mild irritation somewhat resembling minstrel cramps, quickly turned into wave after wave of incredible pain. As the previous contraction dies away and you are left with a few moments of peace and breathing time before the next wave swallows you up. How I learned to value my husband on that day. To the contrary of what media made me believe, I clung to my husband and held him close (literally – leaning all my weight against him was my favorite comfort technique for contractions) as well and clinging to each word of encouragement he gave me. Every, “What a beautiful work you are doing today” and “I am so proud of you for loving our son in this way” was not lost to hollow ears. They encouraged me forward and allowed me to keep focused on why I had chosen to avoid any interventions in the birth.

My friend Amanda showed up about 6 hours into my labor and worked as a sort of doula. Lord knows how she did it, but even at 4 cm dilation, she was able get me to sleep for about 30 minutes by rubbing my back in certain ways. With Braden and Amanda switching in and out as I used different techniques for dealing with contractions (the birthing ball, massaging, lunges, leaning), I felt such unconditional love! Two of the most important people in my life standing next to me as the Lord did a great and mighty work!  I am so thankful for such an experience. However, at 7 cm dilation, after 14 hours of labor, I did crack. I got the epidural I had been hoping to avoid (although what I was really trying to avoid was pitocin). I won’t lie, while I was disappointed, the relief given to me by that epidural gave me nothing but elation, lol. With the help of the lowest dosage of pitocin, I was about to dilate to 10 within about an hour. I was so excited I was going to get to meet our baby so very soon! Or so I thought…

First off, let me mention the 2 downsides to the epidural itself. 1) For some people, it renders your body completely paralyzed from the waist down – as it did me. I literally had zero feeling in my legs, toes, and pelvis area. The nurses had to pick up my legs for me to change positions in any way. 2) It makes it so you feel no contractions whatsoever, therefore inhibiting your ability to feel the natural urge to push the baby out. Well, for me, trying to push with that epidural on proved not only to be challenging, but impossible. Without the urge to push, I couldn’t figure out what muscles to use to push.  I don’t often try to push things out of there with those muscles. After 2 hours, the doc decided that, that was enough. Dr. Hopf had me do something called ‘epidural down’ - which basically means, tough luck, you can’t have the epidural if you want the baby to come out vaginally. So, they took out the epidural, let it wear off for an hour, and then boy did I ever feel the urge to push! The contractions hit like a brick wall after feeling absolutely nothing for a few hours, but at least now they had a purpose. I vaguely remember being a little self conscious about the way I was wailing through each contraction, and the look of pain and empathy on both Braden and Amanda’s faces as they watched me attempt to push for the next 2 hours. Once again, even with the urge to push, I couldn’t figure out how to get little Asher out. He was lodged crooked in the vaginal canal and his shoulders were making movement very difficult. The doctor suggested we take a new course of action – a cesarean birth. I remember thinking, “No, this can’t happen. I didn’t do natural labor for this to happen. You can’t take away my chance at a big family by giving me a cesarean birth on the first child! Please God, no…” It was the very thing I had labored 14 hours to avoid. I began to cry and the doctor, I think feeling more sorry for me than anything, said, “Ok, I will give this 30 more minutes” – but it was obvious he did not believe the results would be different. And the Lord was so merciful! I remember begging God outloud to please help me as I pushed with everything I had. After 20 minutes, when I had all but given up, as I continued to plead with God for strength and for the ability to push the baby out, Asher finally moved. Not much, but something! I had FINALLY figured out which muscles to use to get him out.  And, praise the Lord, the doctor came back in and announced that he had moved far enough that we were going to try for the vaginal birth I longed for. A c-section on the first child would have all but ruined our shot at a large family, as it can be dangerous after 3 kids and most doctors won’t do a vaginal delivery after a cesarean. And, within 10 minutes, and an episiotomy, Asher, with his beautiful skin and full head of dark hair was in my arms. And I forgot everything else. I forgot about the previous 21 hours which I do not hesitate to say were the hardest and most painful of my life. I was the woman scripture spoke of who “forgot her sorrow… for the joy of the human being brought into the world”. Braden and I wept for joy as we could finally embrace the fruit of a long 9 months and painful labor. I praise the Lord for the ways I had to die to myself for my son. It taught me patience and obedience and taught Braden leadership and how to cherish and empathize with his wife. It made the fruit all the sweeter.

As I look at my son at the very moment, I am filled with awe that the Lord gives such good gifts. The mass of tissue from 9 months ago is a beautiful baby boy. Asher Christian Gogel – may he live up to his name and be ‘joy and happiness’ to others and our family. Soli deo Gloria to God for this miracle. 

Summer's Wrapping Up!

I can't believe August has come and almost gone already. What a summer! New job, new house, new baby, new friends, new church, new everything! I cannot tell you the joy Braden and I feel over the blessings the Lord has given us these past six months since we have moved to Dale. (Wait, did Sarah just say that?) Yup - who knew small town living could grow on me so quickly? I must say, its slow paced design and quiet nature have become a sort of haven and definitely not the "isolated from society, caged feeling" I initially thought that I would have. Though, I must admit, Walmart being a 30 minute drive away with the nearest mall 45 minutes away will always be tragic to me. However, I feel a little foolish for having been so disparaging about the distance in the beginning, lol.You just learn to plan better for the things you need!

Braden, of course, is used to it (he has lived here 18 years after all!) so no complaints on his side. What a wonderful encouragement he has been to me in our first few months of living here. He never made me doubt that making the decision to move here was the right one, but he was always quick to love and sympathize with me as I cried over missing my friends, family, church, and old life in general. What a wonderful leader he has been for this family! 

As the summer comes to a close, we are both excited that his hours at Holiday World will be easing up. No more 50-60 hour work weeks! Though, we may miss his overtime a bit, haha. This baby couldn't be coming at a better time! The park closes in early October and he begins working 5 days a week within the next week or so because the park isn't open on weekdays anymore! He will be able to take off a week whenever the baby comes (hopefully sooner rather than later!) The park also finally hired in the new HR director to replace Braden's old boss, Samantha. We will keep you posted on it as the year continues.

I have had the opportunity to start sub teaching, now that school is back in which has been great! It is nice to be able to have something to do instead of coming up with new projects all the time around the house. I will be doing that up until baby and then, after 6 or 8 weeks, I will be going back and working 1 or 2 days a week to help take out those student loans a little faster. 

Braden, Me, Happy, and Nick at Reception

As for the rest of August, it hasn't been a particularly eventful month... We did get to watch our close friends Michael Ostrom and Amanda Smudde (now Ostrom) say their beautiful marriage vows to one another on August 6th! It was so wonderful to finally get to see God bring 2 of our dearest friends together in the beautiful covenant of marriage. We came in on Thursday so that I could make it to Amanda's bachlorette party that evening. Dinner was yummy and we had so much fun with the scavenger hunt. I have so many hilarious pictures, but the computer wont let me put them on for some reason!The next day was dedicated to decorating and the rehearsal dinner. And then came the wedding itself. I must say, not only was Amanda a beautiful bride, but an exceptionally calm one! I was nothing in comparison to her! And after a brutally hot summer we were even blessed with some clouds during the ceremony. The pastor had actually assigned a chair in the front row to me in case the 7 1/2 month pregnant Matron of Honor decided that she was going to pass out from standing in the heat for so long. Praise God for his mercy to me, I was just fine the whole time - scratch that, I cried like a baby - but at least it was from joy and not heat stroke or back pain. :o) Their wedding was also so wonderful because we were able to see so many people we hadn't! Namely my sister Melissa and her husband Jeff, and Nick Kidwell and Happy Tao (congrats on the engagement guys!) from Pennsylvania! The weekend was over all too quickly. 

We planted a lovely garden this summer. Our failure was made complete when our corn was mostly blown over by a bad windstorm. Our tomatoes came out about the size of golf balls. The green peppers - Lord knows what happened to those. The green beans had some kind of bug all over them. The only things really thriving were our rosemary, basil, and parsley. Then I went outside a few days ago for some fresh parsley with a recipe and every single parsley leaf was gone and only the stems remained! In its place were 2 hugely FAT green caterpillars. I probably would have killed them I was so angry but Braden came to their rescue and is now allowing them to eat all our grass. 

Braden also celebrated his 25th birthday just a few days ago on the 23rd! He and I had a wonderful day in French Lick. We started the day by going to the Indiana Scenic Railway Station. It's this neat railroad in French Lick that takes you on a tour through the area. We were able to see a bit of Hoosier National Forest, this really neat long tunnel (which has a name but it currently escapes me), the French Lick area, and Larry Bird's childhood home (who knew he was from French Lick?) It was pretty cool to just get to sit and enjoy the views on something over 100 years old. After that we went out to eat at the very glamorous Dairy Queen. I had made plans for something a little nicer but, as it turned out, Braden was pretty content with cheap and simple, lol. Plus, the Mint Oreo Blizzard was delicious!! Afterwards, we decided to check out the 2 resorts in town. Wow, are they beautiful. Braden and I were particularly amazed at the elegance of the West Baden Hotel. It has this beautiful large dome when you walked inside that was enough to take your breath away. The walls all had elegant, intricate designs that rose all the way to the ceiling revealing enormous windows that bathe the whole dome in sunlight. We just sat and stared for about ten minutes before we wanted to leave. It is so amazing to think that God gives people the gift to design and build such works of art! We walked through the gardens and we (ok, I) played in the fountain for a few minutes. We even took a stop in at the French Lick Hotel's famous casino. The security guard asked for my ID and then told me that I couldn't get in because the baby was underage. Luckily, he eventually took pity and let us pass. :o) We each put a dollar in the penny slot machines - we promptly lost all our money in the course of 3 minutes. I don't know how people like gambling - Braden and I left thoroughly ready to get out of the cloud of smoke and tired of losing money so quickly, even if it only was 2 dollars.

On the way home we decided we weren't quite done with our day yet. The new Planet of the Apes movie was playing at 7 so we decided it might be worth it. At least it had good reviews and we had not seen anything in the theatres in ages! I think it might have tragically been Gnomio and Juliet (we must have been too scarred to return). We had an hour to kill so we went to our favorite store - Home Depot. Sometimes we go in there and design our perfect house just for fun. This time we focused on lighting - which is actually a near future possibility! After literally dragging Braden out of the store (he never comes willingly), we headed to the theater. The movie was actually really good! Totally worth a watch. It had excellent themes in it and really good computer technology and acting! We were pretty tired when we got home so we headed to bed basically right when we got there! We both forgot all about dinner (which is pretty impressive for this pregnant lady!)

On the 24th, Braden's actual birthday, we celebrated by having his mom, Jim, and his brother Casey over for dinner. It was yummy (I FINALLY managed to find a way to cook Aldi chicken so that it didn't come out chewy, haha) and we had delicious ice cream and cake for dessert followed by presents. A new pair of Sperry shoes and a book on renovating your house (surprise, surprise!) It is always so wonderful to celebrate the good gifts that God has given us with family! Praise the Lord for his blessings to us!

To top off the month, Braden and I finally got the second book in the serious The Hunger Games from the library! Guess what we will be doing every night for the next month?

Welp, that about wraps up August. Lord willing, it will be less than a month until baby will finally be with us. We have been looking forward to September for a long time! Hopefully the next time we update you, we will have a beautiful baby instead of a beautiful belly to show you!

Me at 35 weeks

Why Children, Why Now?

Our blog post is meant to be us sharing thoughts, ideas, and convictions, as well as updating you on what is happening in our lives! This topic is something that has been pressing and weighing on our heart for quite some time, so we thought we would share it...

Before we begin, we feel lead to say 2 things:

1) This is not an attack on those who have waited to have children (whatever their reasons may be). It is not meant to be a rebuke, but an encouragement to think more deeply about what the Lord says about children and parenting. Whatever your decisions may be, it never hurts to be challenged in faith. 

2) As our pastor always used to say, "The normal is always sacrificed on the alter of the abnormal in this culture". We understand that there are always exceptions. We are not speaking to the exceptions (abnormal), but to the normal, everyday circumstance. 

"What, you're pregnant? Already? Was it an accident or were you trying? You know you guys are never going to get back this alone time together for a long time?"

All of these were very common questions we received when people heard that we were pregnant after only 8 wonderful months of marriage. It felt like we missed the memo on some sort of children-after-two-years rule. Yes, we were trying before the 2 year marker. Yes, we still had a lot of student loan debt to pay off. Yes, we were only just beginning to understand each other as "one flesh". Yes, we had absolutely zero idea of how in the world we were going to afford this baby (especially if Sarah planned to stay at home) - hospital bills, rent, baby furniture, gas, and groceries all cost money. None of our ducks "lined up", but our conviction to bear children was like a continuously building snowball. Easily ignored at the start but quickly beginning to build and with each passing month; the weight of the burden began to feel crushing, particularly for Sarah. 

So when did our change of heart come about? Why the sudden urge to grow up so quickly and take on all the responsibilities if mother and fatherhood? Honestly, it happened for Sarah about the day after our marriage, haha. Braden's conviction was slower in coming, but with the help of men in our church, followed shortly thereafter. Suddenly, that logical decision wasn't quite as amazing. We finally were capable of making a child (or children - twins run in the family after all!) but were continuously denying the opportunity of creating one. So the question is - why? Why the sudden change? Was it impulse? Desire? Conviction? Guilt? Maybe a little bit of all were mingled in, if we are totally honest. 

Surprisingly enough though, Sarah's first reaction to her pregnancy wasn't elation. It was - "Oh man... This was a mistake..." We were gripped with fear as a wave of understanding - real, tangible understanding - rushed over us; things were never going to be the same. We were going to have to take responsibility for something much greater than ourselves. And it was going to be hard. This understanding was petrifying in its own way. It was easy to forget why we had decided to embark on this journey. The terror, however, was also short-lived. The beauty of watching life appear in the womb in that first ultrasound is enough to bring any man and woman to their knees in praise and awe. Nothing compares to the moment when we realized that God was allowing us to play a part of the creation of a new life. We are but instruments in the hands of a God who does mighty, wondrous works.

People ask us, "why not wait?" But isn't it much more helpful to ask, according to God's word, "Why should we?" There are dozens of logical reasons to wait to have children, each one as convincing and compelling as the last, but few of these reasons lie in scripture. Slowly our hearts were brought to this question - do we believe God's word in its entirety or not? Psalm 127:3-5 says this, "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!"

The word of God says that children are to be a heritage, meaning a valued gift passed down through generations. They are God's reward to us. Another translation reads that, "Children are a blessing from the Lord". Oh, to be blessed by God! Why would we ever deny such a precious gift? But the Word does not stop there. It says, "Blessed are the children of ones youth". Youth. It was no mere accident that God would tell us to have children in our youth. Does this not infer it is better for us to start having children sooner rather than later? Rachel Jankovac recently addressed this very topic in a post on the Desiring God Blog. In a just a few lines she summarized exactly what our initial hesitation was, and exactly why Sarah responded the way she did to the news of our baby. She says, 

"Our culture is simply afraid of death. Laying down your own life, in any way, is terrifying. Strangely, it is that fear that drives the abortion industry: fear that your dreams will die, that your future will die, that your freedom will die—and trying to escape that death by running into the arms of death.
Run to the Cross. 
But a Christian should have a different paradigm. We should run to to the cross. To death. So lay down your hopes. Lay down your future. Lay down your petty annoyances. Lay down your desire to be recognized. Lay down your fussiness at your children. Lay down your perfectly clean house. Lay down your grievances about the life you are living. Lay down the imaginary life you could have had by yourself. Let it go."

Article: Motherhood is a Calling (and Where Your Children Rank) 

And so it was with us. We were gripped with the fear of death, mainly in the area of finances. This baby was going to delay, or perhaps altogether prevent, our achievement of the American dream. When we became pregnant, the dreamy house with the perfectly manicured lawn and new cars in the driveway instantly slipped out of our reach. Our plan to annihilate our student loan debt evaporated when we decided that Sarah would be home with a child rather than earning an income. But what joy and peace we have remembering God's promise! Children, not money, are a blessing from the Lord and are our reward for faithfulness! And the joy our household will experience with this child far outweighs happiness we might have if the knob on our back door didn't fall off on a daily basis (true story).

We also hesitated to have a child because, if we are honest, we were quite happy without a child. Why ruin the short amount of time we have alone together? Why jump into a new life adventure - lets embrace the present. But really, deep down what we were saying was that we didn't trust that the Lord would give us the same or greater happiness if we were faithful to his command in Genesis to 1:28 to, "Be fruitful and multiply and subdue the earth". We were not 'ready' to bring life yet - but really, what does 'ready' even mean? Who could ever be ready?

Dr. Al Mohler says this in his sermon at a Next conference, “Men and women, instead of growing up are extending into a perpetual state of childhood”. Now, he was speaking in reference to people waiting to get married for various reasons (college, career, travel, etc.), but the saying is more than applicable in this situation as well. Our generation, more than any other before it, has an individualistic view of life. Our generation is known as the "Me Generation" - and rightly so. We have grown up learning to think that everything revolves around us and our happiness. It is impossible to not be affected by this thinking, especially if we do not have people encouraging us to do otherwise. In his sermon, Dr. Mohler argues that the longer we wait to grow up, to be 'ready', and the longer we spend focusing on doing the things we want to do before X or Y can happen, the harder it is to let go of self. One has spent so many years forming habits or pleasing and satisfying ones own needs and desires first, it makes the transition to oneness in marriage and family much more difficult. 

But children sharpen us like nothing else ever could. “We talk about training our children, but they first train us, teaching us many a sacred lesson, stirring up in us many a slumbering gift and possibility, calling out many a hidden grace and disciplinging our wayward powers into strong and harmonious character" (J.R. Miller - The Family). This is what our family has made this decision for. Yes, there were reasons to wait. But could they argue with the word of God and it's promises of blessing? No. Although the intention to wait have a child is not in itself sinful, making the decision without relying on faith and God's word is (Romans 14:23). When we closely studied and prayed about bearing children, we discovered that our resolution to wait was not founded on faith, but rather on fear and on self. We want to be renewed and sanctified and trust our lives fully in the promises of Christ knowing that what he calls us to do is never easy and is rarely the thing that we want at the time. And we want to run to that as soon as possible; why would we ever want to delay the gifts of God?

"When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world" (John 16:21). We are ready to forget that we ever questioned God's commands and promises as we experience the joy (Lord willing) of holding our beautiful baby boy in September. 

Please pray that we would be good, faithful parents in disciplining, loving, and raising our son in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Grace and Peace be to you all!

Braden and Sarah

July Update

Braden and I at Holiday World

Hello, its me again. Sorry to be the author again. I know we promised you some Braden, but we believe it is best for his sanity that he not have any more responsibilities on top of work and leading the family. So you are just going to have to deal with me for another few months. :oP

As for life, it is starting to attain the nice, steady rhythm of reality. This is home now, and it is finally starting to feel that way. I find myself really beginning to find balance with my time (except somehow the past 2 days I have been pathetically lethargic - everybody fail sometimes, right). But on the whole, the Lord is teaching me SO much about redeeming the time that I have! I have begun to embrace and enjoy a love for freezer cooking. No more leftover carrots, green pepper, celery, bananas, or apples rotting out before I have a chance to eat it! Frozen apples make great pie apples and applesauce! I can use my leftover veggies to freeze in a stir fry or have on hand to make soup. Bulk, I am discovering, is my new best friend. And there are so many dishes that can so easily be frozen to make a hard night super easy (and delicious!). I have a book called Once-a-Month freezer cooking. Now this woman is super awesome, though. In a single day (about 8 hours time) she makes enough freezer meals to cook dinner for a whole month! I don't know if I will ever be that dedicated, but I know that I will find this technique more and more helpful as the children begin to pile in (Lord willing, as we have no intention of stopping with this one!) Even now, fatigue from the pregnancy leaves me less and less enthusiastic about what side dish will best complement our meatloaf that night. (Thanks to my brother-in-law, Jace, this has become increasingly important to me over time, haha).  Its nice to just have something already cooked, fresh, and ready to be warmed up.

Things are great with Braden and the new job. Sadly, his old boss, Samantha, recently quit due to difficulty working with another staff member - leaving Braden without a real mentor. It has been a bit of a sink or swim situation for him, and I am happy to report that he has been doing excellently -  though I know he is down about losing Sam (they had been friends from back in their old Holiday World days). One of the things he is in charge of is creating and executing events for the seasonal staff over the summer. I recently got to see one of these events in action. The annul Holilympics. Surprisingly cool, actually. There were around 250 people there and they all were competing in 5 different events (all of them a little crazy!) to be named the winner. Each team was named after a country and lots of them got really into it. The team from Zimbabwe had a guy dressed in a loin cloth with a huge walking stick that had stuffed animals climbing on it. It was pretty awesome - though I not really sure it is an actual depiction of what living life in that country is really like.

Mom and Braden on Pilgrims Plunge

We have been so blessed as to see so much of my family this past month! My mother came up one weekend and we were about to spend the day at Holiday world with her! It was loads of fun, despite my inability to actually ride anything. There really wasn't a big crowd that day so we were really able to enjoy some short lines. For the most part, I waited in lines with them and they rode the rides (I would hop out of line right before they got on). But we spent most of our time in the lazy river, or the wave pool so that I could actually do something! Oh man, after packing on an extra 15-20 pounds in a short time,being weightless in the water is just a little bit of heaven - not to mention a HUGE relief from the back pain. Dad came and visited for a weekend as well - finally making it to the new house, and my sister, Jenny, and her husband, Jace came with their son just this past week to visit from Pennsylvania. My sisters belly is getting so big! Just like mine I suppose (our due dates are only 13 days apart). What an encouragement in life and faith they always are! We got to take little Joshua to Holiday World as well and it was so cute to see him riding down those little slides with his mom and dad! It makes me feel so impatient for our son to be with us as well.

Joshua after a dip in our kiddy pool

At the Baby Shower

 Speaking of Baby G, things continue to go very well! Insomnia takes its tole on me occasionally - one night I woke up at 1:45 and could not get back to sleep until near 4:30 - and back pain is the ever present reminder that my work is not finished in the least in this pregnancy, but I feel very healthy and I baby is growing and moving like never before. I feel like I grow an inch out every week! Haha. My beautiful inny belly button has all but disappeared and I am quite confident that I will acquire the staple pregnancy outty before the end of the month, hehe! What funny and beautiful changes your body goes through to accomidate a baby!

Diaper Cake 

My baby shower took place this past week as well! What surpassing gratitude I have toward my 2 mother in laws who worked so hard and sacrificed so much to make it a fun, pleasant, and beautiful experience for me! And the generosity I saw from people (some woman came whom I had never even met!) was overwhelming. I have diapers, wipes, and onesies coming out of my ears, along with toys, bottles, baby gear, books, bath tubs, and so much more! This baby will have more than enough to get by and we could never have done it for him ourselves. Praise God for his goodness to our family! The whole party had a frog theme that was SO cute and Shannon really ran with it. We had cattail centerpieces with plastic frogs all around. The food table looked like a little creek with lily pads, and there were frog beany babies for all the kids at the shower to take home (though I think that one little girl may have hijacked all of them). It was a blast! Great food, games, and fellowship.

It has been so much different to live here than I thought it would be, but I am learning to really enjoy the coziness of a small town, although, I have yet to embrace the heat and humility of southern Indiana (I think this summer may kill me - I picked the wrong summer for pregnancy!). I am not sure if the high has dropped below 90 in weeks and it is always above 100 in that "feels like" category of weather. Though I talked to a woman at my church yesterday who says she hasn't had an air conditioner since she was married! (She is in her 30's). Talk about shutting me up and making me realize how pampered and unthankful I can be for the things I have. I am also finding that, while making friends is slow, it has been steady. There is a family from our church who has been such a blessing to Braden and I in making us feel welcome. I really do not know what I would do without them. They are been such a spiritual and emotional comfort in this time of transition. And what a picture of spiritual fruit they have shown us through how they have raise their children. Each one has a strong relationship with Jesus Christ and lives it out on a daily basis. It gives me so much hope and delight at the thought of raising our own. The church as a whole has been quick to integrate and accept us into there community. Braden and I are helping with their VBS all this week! We really like it.

I suppose that about wraps up July for us. I feel like it is a bit spotty, and there is so much I could elaborate on, but, I suppose I should post more often instead of choosing to write novels, haha. Perhaps, one day I will give it a try... :o)