Tender Mercies

Long time no see! I am sure we will be forgiven. Apparently, having a baby takes up a lot of time (who knew)! I guess we have a lot to catch up on over the past 3 months.  

I guess the obvious thing would be with our son, Asher! It is amazing to think that three months ago, he wasn’t with us (if you exclude the womb, which I do because I would rather remember my first time with him as delightful rather than filled with blinding back pain, lol). I understand now why my mother always told me that I may love her, but not like she loved me. It is incredible how much and quickly you can love somebody you have never met, even if they only eat, sleep, poop, and cry. They aren’t even technically cute yet (though I, of course, think Asher was), as they tend to resemble something closer to an old man than an actual baby. But, the Lord instills it in our hearts to love and cherish these tender mercies.

The hardest part to deal with initially was, without question, lack of sleep. I never slept over 3 or 4 hours in a row for over 2 months. Yikes. Ask my husband – he and I valued our 8 hours of undisturbed sleep more than most people we had ever met. If it came down to almost anything, and our 8 hours (like hanging out with friends, movie, date nights) we both usually chose the sleep. Unfortunately, it stops being a choice when you have to nurse a crying baby whose stomach is merely the size of a standard marble (literally). No wonder they are hungry all the time. On more than one occasion, I fell asleep with the baby in my arms in our recliner, only to wake up 30 minutes later with no idea whether or not Asher nursed more than a few minutes (the second biggest challenge of having a baby is keeping a newborn awake long enough to eat! Ha! Ironic how they never let us sleep, yet never stay awake themselves!) The Lord really does give you the grace and patience to do it though – eventually getting up almost stopped bothering me all together!

Now he actually sleeps quite well. He goes down around 8 or 8:30 and doesn’t wake up until about 4:30! I nurse him and put him back to bed within about 20 minutes. Then he will sleep until 7:30 and I just get up with him. He is a super happy baby and rarely fusses for no reason. We have however had a large road block! Around him turning 6 weeks old he started getting really gassy and would scream for up to an hour until he was able to get his farts out because it hurt him so bad! It sounds funny, but was heartbreaking to watch. Watching your baby scream and cry in pain is horrible! This happened several times daily for about a month before we figured out he had a milk sensitivity – so milk, cheese, and butter are out of my diet! He is still gassy sometimes but Mommy’s Bliss Gripe Water is a miracle drug!

 

Halloween was great! Braden’s mom and stepdad threw a Halloween bash in their pole barn. We dressed Asher up in a Tigger costume that was far too big for him (especially the head!) and really had a wonderful time. Good food and company! Braden’s cousin, Shanna, just had a baby around a month after me so we were able to see their new little baby, Emma! I wish we had a picture to show you of the pole barn! It looked awesome. Huge spider webs and banners and things like that. Super cute!

Then for Thanksgiving, Braden and I were able to drive to Pennsylvania to see my sisters! I feel lost with them both being so far away from me so it was absolutely wonderful to see them! My older sister Jenny just had her baby, Adali (A-duh-lie), and we were able to meet our newest niece! She was so precious and already smiling at 4 weeks! Although the drive down there was tragically long (and made 3 hours longer by having to nurse Asher all the time), it was well worth the 3 days with Jenny and Melissa. I cannot wait to see them for Christmas!

Family Photo in PA

Asher and Adali

Asher, Joshua, and a fairly upset Adali

Mel, Joshua, and Asher!

Speaking of Christmas! It is only 2 days away! YAY!!! This is my favorite time of the year. Decorations, family, hospitality, gifts to those you love, and most importantly, a special time to celebrate and worship the Lord and Savior of the world, Jesus Christ.

I am more and more awed, the older I get, to think of the birth of this baby, Jesus. Not just because of the miraculous virgin birth, or the great things he would come to do. But of the humility of it all. God, the king of the whole world, who should have abandoned us all upon the fall of Adam in the Garden of Eden, brought himself so very low as to become a helpless baby for the sake of hopeless sinners like me. Not only that, but he was not born in a palace, or a hospital, or at the very least on a bed. But on the cold floor with stable animals because no one was willing to make room for him. What a foreshadowing of what his whole life and ministry would be like! In his ministry, he was most often rejected and despised by the people he came to save. It is so easy to look at the manger scene as some happy, cute, Christmas story. And while it is great and it is powerful, no mistake about that – it is also very sad. God had come to earth to save us all, and instead of being proclaimed with trumpets and parades, he was only worshipped by a few wise men and some shepherds in a manger because he did not even have a bed to sleep on.

How God could ever offer such a precious gift, I will never understand. But, I will gratefully and willingly receive the gift he has given us in his son, Jesus. He is my only hope for salvation and my only boast to the Lord for making me worthy for heaven. His blood covers my endless sins and makes me pure as snow. Thank you Lord for your great mercy to me and those who love you and walk in obedience to your word!

May the Lord bless and keep you this Christmas season. Remember as you open your gifts and enjoy your Christmas feasts, we are celebrating the man Jesus Christ! Let us spend this time worshiping him, the true bringer of all good gifts (contrary to what Santa may believe :o) ) Glory to God in the highest! And on earth peace and goodwill to Man!

A Baby Story: Asher Christian Gogel

“John 16:21 When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.”

I have read this verse countless times before and wondered what it would be like to be the woman scripture speaks of. What would it be like to endure this ‘sorrow’? And what perfect joy must follow? It was so easy for me to focus only on the latter part of the verse. Our hearts embrace the encouraging while trying to blot out the inevitable. But we, well, at least I,  forgot that in order to attain the joy of the second – you must bear the suffering of the first. This verse took on new meaning and life for me Tuesday, September 13^th.

As are most women by the end of their pregnancy, I was dying to have my baby. The aches and pains of pregnancy are at and all time high and, after over 5 months of debilitating back pain, I was begging the Lord to let this baby come early. My husband and I had just settled down into bed within the past 20 minutes when I began to have fairly intense back pain – not an uncommon occurance. After about 10 minutes of trying to fall asleep (it was 10:30) I decided to get up to stretch out the muscles (as I have done hundreds of times before) when I felt a huge gush. Besides being initially extremely disgusted, I quickly realized what had happened – my water had broken, and 2 weeks early! I suppose my husband and I weren’t prepared to have the Lord answer the prayer for an early birth because we were pathetically unprepared. Everyone in my family had gone into labor after their due dates – I assumed I would follow suit. The car seat wasn’t in the car, the bags were only half packed, and we totally forgot about the snacks we were going to sneak into the labor and delivery room :o) (For those of you who don’t know, most hospitals don’t let you eat during labor and, as labor often last 15-20 hours, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to do a natural labor without a little energy from the food). At this point, I had no contractions, so we hoped that we would be able to get a little sleep that night and I could labor at home for a bit before going to the hospital. No such luck. When we called, they told us to come to the hospital immediately, so we quickly packed our bags, threw the uninstalled car seat in the car, and headed straight for the hospital – right after a quick pit stop to CVS for some snacks. :o)

I felt a little silly being wheeled up to the OB floor in a wheelchair when I hadn’t had a single contraction yet, but they insisted. Upon arriving in the labor room, I had a brief encounter with the nurse in which I had to argue with her for the next 30 minutes that my water had in fact broken (after the initial litmus test came up negative, she told me I may have just peed my pants – to which I asked her if you can go through 4 pads and a towel without recognizing that you are peeing). If it didn’t come up positive, they were going to send us home because I wasn’t having contractions yet. Thankfully, the 2^nd she took off the towel and it was positive. Then the contractions came around 11:30pm. What started out as a simple mild irritation somewhat resembling minstrel cramps, quickly turned into wave after wave of incredible pain. As the previous contraction dies away and you are left with a few moments of peace and breathing time before the next wave swallows you up. How I learned to value my husband on that day. To the contrary of what media made me believe, I clung to my husband and held him close (literally – leaning all my weight against him was my favorite comfort technique for contractions) as well and clinging to each word of encouragement he gave me. Every, “What a beautiful work you are doing today” and “I am so proud of you for loving our son in this way” was not lost to hollow ears. They encouraged me forward and allowed me to keep focused on why I had chosen to avoid any interventions in the birth.

My friend Amanda showed up about 6 hours into my labor and worked as a sort of doula. Lord knows how she did it, but even at 4 cm dilation, she was able get me to sleep for about 30 minutes by rubbing my back in certain ways. With Braden and Amanda switching in and out as I used different techniques for dealing with contractions (the birthing ball, massaging, lunges, leaning), I felt such unconditional love! Two of the most important people in my life standing next to me as the Lord did a great and mighty work!  I am so thankful for such an experience. However, at 7 cm dilation, after 14 hours of labor, I did crack. I got the epidural I had been hoping to avoid (although what I was really trying to avoid was pitocin). I won’t lie, while I was disappointed, the relief given to me by that epidural gave me nothing but elation, lol. With the help of the lowest dosage of pitocin, I was about to dilate to 10 within about an hour. I was so excited I was going to get to meet our baby so very soon! Or so I thought…

First off, let me mention the 2 downsides to the epidural itself. 1) For some people, it renders your body completely paralyzed from the waist down – as it did me. I literally had zero feeling in my legs, toes, and pelvis area. The nurses had to pick up my legs for me to change positions in any way. 2) It makes it so you feel no contractions whatsoever, therefore inhibiting your ability to feel the natural urge to push the baby out. Well, for me, trying to push with that epidural on proved not only to be challenging, but impossible. Without the urge to push, I couldn’t figure out what muscles to use to push.  I don’t often try to push things out of there with those muscles. After 2 hours, the doc decided that, that was enough. Dr. Hopf had me do something called ‘epidural down’ - which basically means, tough luck, you can’t have the epidural if you want the baby to come out vaginally. So, they took out the epidural, let it wear off for an hour, and then boy did I ever feel the urge to push! The contractions hit like a brick wall after feeling absolutely nothing for a few hours, but at least now they had a purpose. I vaguely remember being a little self conscious about the way I was wailing through each contraction, and the look of pain and empathy on both Braden and Amanda’s faces as they watched me attempt to push for the next 2 hours. Once again, even with the urge to push, I couldn’t figure out how to get little Asher out. He was lodged crooked in the vaginal canal and his shoulders were making movement very difficult. The doctor suggested we take a new course of action – a cesarean birth. I remember thinking, “No, this can’t happen. I didn’t do natural labor for this to happen. You can’t take away my chance at a big family by giving me a cesarean birth on the first child! Please God, no…” It was the very thing I had labored 14 hours to avoid. I began to cry and the doctor, I think feeling more sorry for me than anything, said, “Ok, I will give this 30 more minutes” – but it was obvious he did not believe the results would be different. And the Lord was so merciful! I remember begging God outloud to please help me as I pushed with everything I had. After 20 minutes, when I had all but given up, as I continued to plead with God for strength and for the ability to push the baby out, Asher finally moved. Not much, but something! I had FINALLY figured out which muscles to use to get him out.  And, praise the Lord, the doctor came back in and announced that he had moved far enough that we were going to try for the vaginal birth I longed for. A c-section on the first child would have all but ruined our shot at a large family, as it can be dangerous after 3 kids and most doctors won’t do a vaginal delivery after a cesarean. And, within 10 minutes, and an episiotomy, Asher, with his beautiful skin and full head of dark hair was in my arms. And I forgot everything else. I forgot about the previous 21 hours which I do not hesitate to say were the hardest and most painful of my life. I was the woman scripture spoke of who “forgot her sorrow… for the joy of the human being brought into the world”. Braden and I wept for joy as we could finally embrace the fruit of a long 9 months and painful labor. I praise the Lord for the ways I had to die to myself for my son. It taught me patience and obedience and taught Braden leadership and how to cherish and empathize with his wife. It made the fruit all the sweeter.

As I look at my son at the very moment, I am filled with awe that the Lord gives such good gifts. The mass of tissue from 9 months ago is a beautiful baby boy. Asher Christian Gogel – may he live up to his name and be ‘joy and happiness’ to others and our family. Soli deo Gloria to God for this miracle. 

Summer's Wrapping Up!

I can't believe August has come and almost gone already. What a summer! New job, new house, new baby, new friends, new church, new everything! I cannot tell you the joy Braden and I feel over the blessings the Lord has given us these past six months since we have moved to Dale. (Wait, did Sarah just say that?) Yup - who knew small town living could grow on me so quickly? I must say, its slow paced design and quiet nature have become a sort of haven and definitely not the "isolated from society, caged feeling" I initially thought that I would have. Though, I must admit, Walmart being a 30 minute drive away with the nearest mall 45 minutes away will always be tragic to me. However, I feel a little foolish for having been so disparaging about the distance in the beginning, lol.You just learn to plan better for the things you need!

Braden, of course, is used to it (he has lived here 18 years after all!) so no complaints on his side. What a wonderful encouragement he has been to me in our first few months of living here. He never made me doubt that making the decision to move here was the right one, but he was always quick to love and sympathize with me as I cried over missing my friends, family, church, and old life in general. What a wonderful leader he has been for this family! 

As the summer comes to a close, we are both excited that his hours at Holiday World will be easing up. No more 50-60 hour work weeks! Though, we may miss his overtime a bit, haha. This baby couldn't be coming at a better time! The park closes in early October and he begins working 5 days a week within the next week or so because the park isn't open on weekdays anymore! He will be able to take off a week whenever the baby comes (hopefully sooner rather than later!) The park also finally hired in the new HR director to replace Braden's old boss, Samantha. We will keep you posted on it as the year continues.

I have had the opportunity to start sub teaching, now that school is back in which has been great! It is nice to be able to have something to do instead of coming up with new projects all the time around the house. I will be doing that up until baby and then, after 6 or 8 weeks, I will be going back and working 1 or 2 days a week to help take out those student loans a little faster. 

Braden, Me, Happy, and Nick at Reception

As for the rest of August, it hasn't been a particularly eventful month... We did get to watch our close friends Michael Ostrom and Amanda Smudde (now Ostrom) say their beautiful marriage vows to one another on August 6th! It was so wonderful to finally get to see God bring 2 of our dearest friends together in the beautiful covenant of marriage. We came in on Thursday so that I could make it to Amanda's bachlorette party that evening. Dinner was yummy and we had so much fun with the scavenger hunt. I have so many hilarious pictures, but the computer wont let me put them on for some reason!The next day was dedicated to decorating and the rehearsal dinner. And then came the wedding itself. I must say, not only was Amanda a beautiful bride, but an exceptionally calm one! I was nothing in comparison to her! And after a brutally hot summer we were even blessed with some clouds during the ceremony. The pastor had actually assigned a chair in the front row to me in case the 7 1/2 month pregnant Matron of Honor decided that she was going to pass out from standing in the heat for so long. Praise God for his mercy to me, I was just fine the whole time - scratch that, I cried like a baby - but at least it was from joy and not heat stroke or back pain. :o) Their wedding was also so wonderful because we were able to see so many people we hadn't! Namely my sister Melissa and her husband Jeff, and Nick Kidwell and Happy Tao (congrats on the engagement guys!) from Pennsylvania! The weekend was over all too quickly. 

We planted a lovely garden this summer. Our failure was made complete when our corn was mostly blown over by a bad windstorm. Our tomatoes came out about the size of golf balls. The green peppers - Lord knows what happened to those. The green beans had some kind of bug all over them. The only things really thriving were our rosemary, basil, and parsley. Then I went outside a few days ago for some fresh parsley with a recipe and every single parsley leaf was gone and only the stems remained! In its place were 2 hugely FAT green caterpillars. I probably would have killed them I was so angry but Braden came to their rescue and is now allowing them to eat all our grass. 

Braden also celebrated his 25th birthday just a few days ago on the 23rd! He and I had a wonderful day in French Lick. We started the day by going to the Indiana Scenic Railway Station. It's this neat railroad in French Lick that takes you on a tour through the area. We were able to see a bit of Hoosier National Forest, this really neat long tunnel (which has a name but it currently escapes me), the French Lick area, and Larry Bird's childhood home (who knew he was from French Lick?) It was pretty cool to just get to sit and enjoy the views on something over 100 years old. After that we went out to eat at the very glamorous Dairy Queen. I had made plans for something a little nicer but, as it turned out, Braden was pretty content with cheap and simple, lol. Plus, the Mint Oreo Blizzard was delicious!! Afterwards, we decided to check out the 2 resorts in town. Wow, are they beautiful. Braden and I were particularly amazed at the elegance of the West Baden Hotel. It has this beautiful large dome when you walked inside that was enough to take your breath away. The walls all had elegant, intricate designs that rose all the way to the ceiling revealing enormous windows that bathe the whole dome in sunlight. We just sat and stared for about ten minutes before we wanted to leave. It is so amazing to think that God gives people the gift to design and build such works of art! We walked through the gardens and we (ok, I) played in the fountain for a few minutes. We even took a stop in at the French Lick Hotel's famous casino. The security guard asked for my ID and then told me that I couldn't get in because the baby was underage. Luckily, he eventually took pity and let us pass. :o) We each put a dollar in the penny slot machines - we promptly lost all our money in the course of 3 minutes. I don't know how people like gambling - Braden and I left thoroughly ready to get out of the cloud of smoke and tired of losing money so quickly, even if it only was 2 dollars.

On the way home we decided we weren't quite done with our day yet. The new Planet of the Apes movie was playing at 7 so we decided it might be worth it. At least it had good reviews and we had not seen anything in the theatres in ages! I think it might have tragically been Gnomio and Juliet (we must have been too scarred to return). We had an hour to kill so we went to our favorite store - Home Depot. Sometimes we go in there and design our perfect house just for fun. This time we focused on lighting - which is actually a near future possibility! After literally dragging Braden out of the store (he never comes willingly), we headed to the theater. The movie was actually really good! Totally worth a watch. It had excellent themes in it and really good computer technology and acting! We were pretty tired when we got home so we headed to bed basically right when we got there! We both forgot all about dinner (which is pretty impressive for this pregnant lady!)

On the 24th, Braden's actual birthday, we celebrated by having his mom, Jim, and his brother Casey over for dinner. It was yummy (I FINALLY managed to find a way to cook Aldi chicken so that it didn't come out chewy, haha) and we had delicious ice cream and cake for dessert followed by presents. A new pair of Sperry shoes and a book on renovating your house (surprise, surprise!) It is always so wonderful to celebrate the good gifts that God has given us with family! Praise the Lord for his blessings to us!

To top off the month, Braden and I finally got the second book in the serious The Hunger Games from the library! Guess what we will be doing every night for the next month?

Welp, that about wraps up August. Lord willing, it will be less than a month until baby will finally be with us. We have been looking forward to September for a long time! Hopefully the next time we update you, we will have a beautiful baby instead of a beautiful belly to show you!

Me at 35 weeks

Why Children, Why Now?

Our blog post is meant to be us sharing thoughts, ideas, and convictions, as well as updating you on what is happening in our lives! This topic is something that has been pressing and weighing on our heart for quite some time, so we thought we would share it...

Before we begin, we feel lead to say 2 things:

1) This is not an attack on those who have waited to have children (whatever their reasons may be). It is not meant to be a rebuke, but an encouragement to think more deeply about what the Lord says about children and parenting. Whatever your decisions may be, it never hurts to be challenged in faith. 

2) As our pastor always used to say, "The normal is always sacrificed on the alter of the abnormal in this culture". We understand that there are always exceptions. We are not speaking to the exceptions (abnormal), but to the normal, everyday circumstance. 

"What, you're pregnant? Already? Was it an accident or were you trying? You know you guys are never going to get back this alone time together for a long time?"

All of these were very common questions we received when people heard that we were pregnant after only 8 wonderful months of marriage. It felt like we missed the memo on some sort of children-after-two-years rule. Yes, we were trying before the 2 year marker. Yes, we still had a lot of student loan debt to pay off. Yes, we were only just beginning to understand each other as "one flesh". Yes, we had absolutely zero idea of how in the world we were going to afford this baby (especially if Sarah planned to stay at home) - hospital bills, rent, baby furniture, gas, and groceries all cost money. None of our ducks "lined up", but our conviction to bear children was like a continuously building snowball. Easily ignored at the start but quickly beginning to build and with each passing month; the weight of the burden began to feel crushing, particularly for Sarah. 

So when did our change of heart come about? Why the sudden urge to grow up so quickly and take on all the responsibilities if mother and fatherhood? Honestly, it happened for Sarah about the day after our marriage, haha. Braden's conviction was slower in coming, but with the help of men in our church, followed shortly thereafter. Suddenly, that logical decision wasn't quite as amazing. We finally were capable of making a child (or children - twins run in the family after all!) but were continuously denying the opportunity of creating one. So the question is - why? Why the sudden change? Was it impulse? Desire? Conviction? Guilt? Maybe a little bit of all were mingled in, if we are totally honest. 

Surprisingly enough though, Sarah's first reaction to her pregnancy wasn't elation. It was - "Oh man... This was a mistake..." We were gripped with fear as a wave of understanding - real, tangible understanding - rushed over us; things were never going to be the same. We were going to have to take responsibility for something much greater than ourselves. And it was going to be hard. This understanding was petrifying in its own way. It was easy to forget why we had decided to embark on this journey. The terror, however, was also short-lived. The beauty of watching life appear in the womb in that first ultrasound is enough to bring any man and woman to their knees in praise and awe. Nothing compares to the moment when we realized that God was allowing us to play a part of the creation of a new life. We are but instruments in the hands of a God who does mighty, wondrous works.

People ask us, "why not wait?" But isn't it much more helpful to ask, according to God's word, "Why should we?" There are dozens of logical reasons to wait to have children, each one as convincing and compelling as the last, but few of these reasons lie in scripture. Slowly our hearts were brought to this question - do we believe God's word in its entirety or not? Psalm 127:3-5 says this, "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!"

The word of God says that children are to be a heritage, meaning a valued gift passed down through generations. They are God's reward to us. Another translation reads that, "Children are a blessing from the Lord". Oh, to be blessed by God! Why would we ever deny such a precious gift? But the Word does not stop there. It says, "Blessed are the children of ones youth". Youth. It was no mere accident that God would tell us to have children in our youth. Does this not infer it is better for us to start having children sooner rather than later? Rachel Jankovac recently addressed this very topic in a post on the Desiring God Blog. In a just a few lines she summarized exactly what our initial hesitation was, and exactly why Sarah responded the way she did to the news of our baby. She says, 

"Our culture is simply afraid of death. Laying down your own life, in any way, is terrifying. Strangely, it is that fear that drives the abortion industry: fear that your dreams will die, that your future will die, that your freedom will die—and trying to escape that death by running into the arms of death.
Run to the Cross. 
But a Christian should have a different paradigm. We should run to to the cross. To death. So lay down your hopes. Lay down your future. Lay down your petty annoyances. Lay down your desire to be recognized. Lay down your fussiness at your children. Lay down your perfectly clean house. Lay down your grievances about the life you are living. Lay down the imaginary life you could have had by yourself. Let it go."

Article: Motherhood is a Calling (and Where Your Children Rank) 

And so it was with us. We were gripped with the fear of death, mainly in the area of finances. This baby was going to delay, or perhaps altogether prevent, our achievement of the American dream. When we became pregnant, the dreamy house with the perfectly manicured lawn and new cars in the driveway instantly slipped out of our reach. Our plan to annihilate our student loan debt evaporated when we decided that Sarah would be home with a child rather than earning an income. But what joy and peace we have remembering God's promise! Children, not money, are a blessing from the Lord and are our reward for faithfulness! And the joy our household will experience with this child far outweighs happiness we might have if the knob on our back door didn't fall off on a daily basis (true story).

We also hesitated to have a child because, if we are honest, we were quite happy without a child. Why ruin the short amount of time we have alone together? Why jump into a new life adventure - lets embrace the present. But really, deep down what we were saying was that we didn't trust that the Lord would give us the same or greater happiness if we were faithful to his command in Genesis to 1:28 to, "Be fruitful and multiply and subdue the earth". We were not 'ready' to bring life yet - but really, what does 'ready' even mean? Who could ever be ready?

Dr. Al Mohler says this in his sermon at a Next conference, “Men and women, instead of growing up are extending into a perpetual state of childhood”. Now, he was speaking in reference to people waiting to get married for various reasons (college, career, travel, etc.), but the saying is more than applicable in this situation as well. Our generation, more than any other before it, has an individualistic view of life. Our generation is known as the "Me Generation" - and rightly so. We have grown up learning to think that everything revolves around us and our happiness. It is impossible to not be affected by this thinking, especially if we do not have people encouraging us to do otherwise. In his sermon, Dr. Mohler argues that the longer we wait to grow up, to be 'ready', and the longer we spend focusing on doing the things we want to do before X or Y can happen, the harder it is to let go of self. One has spent so many years forming habits or pleasing and satisfying ones own needs and desires first, it makes the transition to oneness in marriage and family much more difficult. 

But children sharpen us like nothing else ever could. “We talk about training our children, but they first train us, teaching us many a sacred lesson, stirring up in us many a slumbering gift and possibility, calling out many a hidden grace and disciplinging our wayward powers into strong and harmonious character" (J.R. Miller - The Family). This is what our family has made this decision for. Yes, there were reasons to wait. But could they argue with the word of God and it's promises of blessing? No. Although the intention to wait have a child is not in itself sinful, making the decision without relying on faith and God's word is (Romans 14:23). When we closely studied and prayed about bearing children, we discovered that our resolution to wait was not founded on faith, but rather on fear and on self. We want to be renewed and sanctified and trust our lives fully in the promises of Christ knowing that what he calls us to do is never easy and is rarely the thing that we want at the time. And we want to run to that as soon as possible; why would we ever want to delay the gifts of God?

"When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world" (John 16:21). We are ready to forget that we ever questioned God's commands and promises as we experience the joy (Lord willing) of holding our beautiful baby boy in September. 

Please pray that we would be good, faithful parents in disciplining, loving, and raising our son in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Grace and Peace be to you all!

Braden and Sarah

July Update

Braden and I at Holiday World

Hello, its me again. Sorry to be the author again. I know we promised you some Braden, but we believe it is best for his sanity that he not have any more responsibilities on top of work and leading the family. So you are just going to have to deal with me for another few months. :oP

As for life, it is starting to attain the nice, steady rhythm of reality. This is home now, and it is finally starting to feel that way. I find myself really beginning to find balance with my time (except somehow the past 2 days I have been pathetically lethargic - everybody fail sometimes, right). But on the whole, the Lord is teaching me SO much about redeeming the time that I have! I have begun to embrace and enjoy a love for freezer cooking. No more leftover carrots, green pepper, celery, bananas, or apples rotting out before I have a chance to eat it! Frozen apples make great pie apples and applesauce! I can use my leftover veggies to freeze in a stir fry or have on hand to make soup. Bulk, I am discovering, is my new best friend. And there are so many dishes that can so easily be frozen to make a hard night super easy (and delicious!). I have a book called Once-a-Month freezer cooking. Now this woman is super awesome, though. In a single day (about 8 hours time) she makes enough freezer meals to cook dinner for a whole month! I don't know if I will ever be that dedicated, but I know that I will find this technique more and more helpful as the children begin to pile in (Lord willing, as we have no intention of stopping with this one!) Even now, fatigue from the pregnancy leaves me less and less enthusiastic about what side dish will best complement our meatloaf that night. (Thanks to my brother-in-law, Jace, this has become increasingly important to me over time, haha).  Its nice to just have something already cooked, fresh, and ready to be warmed up.

Things are great with Braden and the new job. Sadly, his old boss, Samantha, recently quit due to difficulty working with another staff member - leaving Braden without a real mentor. It has been a bit of a sink or swim situation for him, and I am happy to report that he has been doing excellently -  though I know he is down about losing Sam (they had been friends from back in their old Holiday World days). One of the things he is in charge of is creating and executing events for the seasonal staff over the summer. I recently got to see one of these events in action. The annul Holilympics. Surprisingly cool, actually. There were around 250 people there and they all were competing in 5 different events (all of them a little crazy!) to be named the winner. Each team was named after a country and lots of them got really into it. The team from Zimbabwe had a guy dressed in a loin cloth with a huge walking stick that had stuffed animals climbing on it. It was pretty awesome - though I not really sure it is an actual depiction of what living life in that country is really like.

Mom and Braden on Pilgrims Plunge

We have been so blessed as to see so much of my family this past month! My mother came up one weekend and we were about to spend the day at Holiday world with her! It was loads of fun, despite my inability to actually ride anything. There really wasn't a big crowd that day so we were really able to enjoy some short lines. For the most part, I waited in lines with them and they rode the rides (I would hop out of line right before they got on). But we spent most of our time in the lazy river, or the wave pool so that I could actually do something! Oh man, after packing on an extra 15-20 pounds in a short time,being weightless in the water is just a little bit of heaven - not to mention a HUGE relief from the back pain. Dad came and visited for a weekend as well - finally making it to the new house, and my sister, Jenny, and her husband, Jace came with their son just this past week to visit from Pennsylvania. My sisters belly is getting so big! Just like mine I suppose (our due dates are only 13 days apart). What an encouragement in life and faith they always are! We got to take little Joshua to Holiday World as well and it was so cute to see him riding down those little slides with his mom and dad! It makes me feel so impatient for our son to be with us as well.

Joshua after a dip in our kiddy pool

At the Baby Shower

 Speaking of Baby G, things continue to go very well! Insomnia takes its tole on me occasionally - one night I woke up at 1:45 and could not get back to sleep until near 4:30 - and back pain is the ever present reminder that my work is not finished in the least in this pregnancy, but I feel very healthy and I baby is growing and moving like never before. I feel like I grow an inch out every week! Haha. My beautiful inny belly button has all but disappeared and I am quite confident that I will acquire the staple pregnancy outty before the end of the month, hehe! What funny and beautiful changes your body goes through to accomidate a baby!

Diaper Cake 

My baby shower took place this past week as well! What surpassing gratitude I have toward my 2 mother in laws who worked so hard and sacrificed so much to make it a fun, pleasant, and beautiful experience for me! And the generosity I saw from people (some woman came whom I had never even met!) was overwhelming. I have diapers, wipes, and onesies coming out of my ears, along with toys, bottles, baby gear, books, bath tubs, and so much more! This baby will have more than enough to get by and we could never have done it for him ourselves. Praise God for his goodness to our family! The whole party had a frog theme that was SO cute and Shannon really ran with it. We had cattail centerpieces with plastic frogs all around. The food table looked like a little creek with lily pads, and there were frog beany babies for all the kids at the shower to take home (though I think that one little girl may have hijacked all of them). It was a blast! Great food, games, and fellowship.

It has been so much different to live here than I thought it would be, but I am learning to really enjoy the coziness of a small town, although, I have yet to embrace the heat and humility of southern Indiana (I think this summer may kill me - I picked the wrong summer for pregnancy!). I am not sure if the high has dropped below 90 in weeks and it is always above 100 in that "feels like" category of weather. Though I talked to a woman at my church yesterday who says she hasn't had an air conditioner since she was married! (She is in her 30's). Talk about shutting me up and making me realize how pampered and unthankful I can be for the things I have. I am also finding that, while making friends is slow, it has been steady. There is a family from our church who has been such a blessing to Braden and I in making us feel welcome. I really do not know what I would do without them. They are been such a spiritual and emotional comfort in this time of transition. And what a picture of spiritual fruit they have shown us through how they have raise their children. Each one has a strong relationship with Jesus Christ and lives it out on a daily basis. It gives me so much hope and delight at the thought of raising our own. The church as a whole has been quick to integrate and accept us into there community. Braden and I are helping with their VBS all this week! We really like it.

I suppose that about wraps up July for us. I feel like it is a bit spotty, and there is so much I could elaborate on, but, I suppose I should post more often instead of choosing to write novels, haha. Perhaps, one day I will give it a try... :o)

Summer Mercies

Author: Sarah

Front of House

Hello friends and family! Big news in the Gogel family. Lots has been changing around here for the past month (not just my belly size, which is growing increasingly rapidly!) Holiday World is open and in full swing! Which unfortunately means so is Braden's schedule. He works 8 or 9 hours a day, Tuesday-Sunday. However, some weeks (like this one), luck has it that he even has to do trainings on Monday - leaving him a grand total of 0 days off this week. But we continue to remain so grateful to the Lord for his provision of this job for Braden and I. It was exactly what we need, right when we needed it. He might not love the hours, but he does have a passion for the job. It is wonderful to get to see him pushed to learn more about the job and to know that there will always be continued room for growth. One of the last things anyone wants to feel like they are doing is working a dead end job with no tangible way to further your own personal growth or the companies. He loves talking about what he is doing in the park and ideas he has about improving it. I must confess, I don't share the same gusto for Holiday World as my husband, but I imagine he feels the same way when I talk about working in Disney World. =) 

Backyard

As for the home, we have moved in and begun a life. Have I ever mentioned that I strongly dislike moving? Moving box after box, furniture after furniture, and trying to organize it by room, wishing that you had been more clear on what you wrote on the box so you could unpack certain things first. Lord knows how long it took us to find our stapler. lol. But we were so blessed to be helped by Braden's family with all of it. They basically painted our whole house, including the ceilings, (all the walls were yucky) - I couldn't be around paint fumes and Braden was basically always working. What a relief and gift it is to be so close to family. But now almost every box is unpacked (save the office - we are still waiting on a desk) and it looks like a habitated home. The yard just about killed Braden and I. There was some pretty massive overgrowth happening (video). When we trimmed our bushes we got about 6 full feet of our driveway back! There were random trees and shrubs that had sprung up all over the yard from lack of care and the trees needed to be trimmed up - the branches drooped so low you would get whacked in the face if you were mowing. We had so many branches and trimmings that we filled up 2 full trailers to be haled off. Whew... it was a pretty long day.

Here is a video walk-though of our house so you can see what the inside looks like. 

Braden and I working on bushes - You can barely even see the storage shed!

=

As for what the Lord has been doing in our lives - lots! Braden has had to be very disciplined in how he uses his time (as he really does not have all that much of it) and is learning so much of what it means to serve the Lord by being the sole provider of the home. He has a big weight on his shoulders now and I have never once heard him complain about the hours or the work that the Lord has given him to do. He is happy to do it for our family. I love him so much for it! As for me, I have also had to learn discipline with how I spend my time... because I have so much of it! Not having gainful employment (with no really prospect on the horizon) has been really hard on me. I have always thrived of finding my usefulness and purpose in the things that I do. I was always so busy, that I had to fight to find the time to be cleaning the home, or preparing dinner, or spending some extra time in prayer with the Lord. Now I have so much time that I often find myself wasting time. But the Lord has really helped me to see that this time is such a beautiful gift of preparation before our baby gets here! I have begun to attempt to become very organized (which, ask my husband, is not me at all). I have created spread sheets for recipes that I have, monthly calendars of meals for the month, monthly grocery lists so that I will only have to make one trip to Evansville a month (this is where the cheapest grocery store is located - I love Aldi). This will hopefully make meal planning abundantly easier when the baby comes. I can just plug in the recipes to the calender and have the grocery list ready! A lot easier said than done... it is taking forever, but it will be worth it. I also plan to do some serious freezer cooking, so that we will have at least several weeks worth of meals once the baby comes before I have to get back to cooking every night. There is so much to do to redeem the time, and I pray that He would continue to show me this.

Never-the-less, I still have maintained a certain level of discontentment with being here. It is something that I have been praying through for weeks. This is because I am well aware that my discontentment comes from a glorified view of myself and 'what I should be doing' and not what the Lord has actually given me to do. Yesterday, I had a surprise visit at my doorstep. Two young people, Peter (21) and Mary (24) showed up. I won't lie, when I first opened my door, I thought they were Mormons, and they were just about the last people I wanted to be chatting with at that moment (Amanda Smudde and Elizabeth Wurm were going to be stopping by within an hour or 2 and I wanted the house clean). It turned out, They were Christians with a passion and mission to unite the faith as it was united in the book of Acts. Peter said that they were coming to Dale from Evansville because the Lord had told them to tell us to "make way for the Holy Spirit, for he is coming" or something to that regard.  I was struck by their genuine desire to tell people this simple and beautiful message. And it reminded me, Dale isn't a small town with not much to do and where I can be of no use. It is a small town filled with people who need the Holy Spirit and the forgiveness of Jesus Christ just as much as the students on IU's campus. I was choosing to ignore this because there was no Campus Crusade or Clear Note Campus Fellowship (plug in ministry here) constantly calling me to this. There is no pre-established organization to make our ministry easier here. Anything we do will take serious thought and initiative. I invited them in and we chatted for at least an hour or two. What amazing work they are doing in Indiana. They had such wonderful stories of how God was using their ministry!

This morning I was reading in my time with the Lord, a devotion by Charles Spurgeon and, wouldn't you know it, June 3rd's devotion is on being content with who and where we are. He spoke of people who work for the King in scripture, like potters and gardeners, who do not have the most glamorous job, but are needed to serve the Lord all the same. They are still part of the community of people who serve him. The quote that really struck me was, "The place of our habitation is fixed, and we are not to leave it on a whim or just to suit our fancy, but to seek and serve the Lord in it, by being a blessing to those whom we reside with" (Spurgeon, Morning and Evening). I feel like I have often lived life on emotional highs of serving God and am prone to whimsical notions and ideas of glory for how my life will look. How little have I consulted the Lord in these matters. What a beautiful lesson I am learning right now. Praise God for his mercy to me and for the missionaries he sent to the doorstep of Dale, Indiana yesterday.

Wonderful Devotional - I recommend it above all others

Well, this is getting a bit long, thanks for staying with me (if you are in fact still with me, haha). To finish, here is a youtube video of the ultrasound of our baby! The quality didn't download amazingly well, but you can hear the heartbeat for a moment, get to see us find out we are having a boy, and get to see a bit of movement! 

And check out a few baby belly pictures!

21 Weeks

23 Weeks

It's a Boy!

For those of you who don't know yet! We are having a bouncing baby boy... the names on the table are currently...

Asher, Isaac, and Daniel - though we haven't ruled any out.  For all we know it could end up being Bob (though I highly doubt it). It is very important to us to choose a name that we desire our child to represent for the family and pray the Lord would bless us with that. Old Testament scripture is a wonderful example of this. Both Joshua and Isaiah mean, "The Lord is Salvation" and both men are faithful examples of  of a life served in full to the living God. Jacob means, "The deceiver" and he deceives his father Isaac into giving his brothers inheritance. Its a pretty consistent trend. Few break the mold. Asher means 'happiness', Isaac means 'laughter', and Daniel means 'worshipper of God'. These are hopes and desires we have for our firstborn. A joyful man of the Lord! What fun we have had praying through these! Let us know if you have any great ideas we haven't thought of. =)

I actually meant to publish this 4 weeks ago. Opps... it was in the drafts...

Wow, what an eventful past few weeks! I'd love to inform you that the next few will finally be nice and restful, but the odd of that are looking pretty grim. Well, lets start from the very beginning - a very good place to start (get the Sound of Music reference... just me? haha). 

16 weeks - the starters of my baby bump!

Well, its long overdue to tell you guys that our bouncing baby is doing great! We have had the opportunity to hear that precious heartbeat twice now and (Lord willing) a third time next Monday. I cannot tell you what that first ultrasound was like. All the fear and anxiety that had attacked me in weeks prior melted away as Braden and I watched this child pop up on the screen in front of us. I couldn't even hold in the tears - I never thought about how that could be an emotional experience! Luckily they had a tissue box nearby, haha. I guess I am part of the norm. Braden and I stood breathless, watching the baby that we had made together kick, wiggle, and twist around in my belly - I guess I had too much sugar that morning! Then just this past week (18 weeks pregnant) I had my first experience with baby kicking! It was so wonderful to feel those beautiful precious pushes inside me. It makes it feel all the more real! I am currently 19 weeks pregnant and Braden and I have decided to find out the gender of our baby next week! Yay! We'll keep you posted on that! Glory be to God that he had carried this baby safely through the pregnancy so far. We plead for your continued prayers for this child and for us as this pregnancy continues.

Next on the agenda... the house. As some of you might know, we have been living with Jim and Shannon (Braden's mother and step dad) for the past 2 months. They have been so gracious to give us a place to live and food to eat while we get our feet under us again. As thankful as we are though, we are also anxious to be back in our own home, taking care of ourselves once again. The transition to living in Santa Claus has been particularly difficult for me as I haven't been able to attain any real kind of employment. I have been subbing, but it is extremely infrequent so I have had to try to occupy myself various seemly mundane tasks to pass the time. To make it all the harder, I don't even have my own home to care for, meals to cook, or other duties. The result has been many tearful night and conversations of Braden assuring me that I am not just sort of taking up space in this transition. That the Lord does have a purpose in our being here and that this time will pass, but that while here I should work my hardest to continue to cultivate a heart for the home and to begin preparing myself for the duties of motherhood. On top of that, since coming hear I almost immediately contracted the flu, followed shortly by a bladder infection, and managed to attain my first interaction with Hives as a result of being allergic to the medication. Yuck. I will mention the blinding back pain later, as that is actually a fairly funny story. But, I have had abundant time to spend with the Lord and to read books about raising a family, honoring God, creating a home filled with hospitality, etc. And now our prayers have been answered and, Lord willing, Braden and I will be closing on our first home on Friday! It is no masterpiece (green bedroom carpet and a blue bathtub, haha) but it is a lovely first home that we got a wonderful deal on. The Lord was so gracious to provide us with the finances for it and we could not be more excited to move in! We should be painting for about the next week, but in two weeks I do believe we will be moving into that home! Pictures soon to come!

Things are going wonderfully with Braden's job! He loves it and the park will be opening this week! Which also means that Braden will begin his 4 month adventure of working 6 days a week *sigh*. But with a new house I am sure I will have no problems keeping busy, but I will most definitely be missing him! Make sure you let us know if you plan to come to the park this summer! We have a good amount of free tickets to give to those who plan to come anyways!

This moves us almost to the present. I went to Wester Chester, PA last week so that I could spend some time with my lovely sisters before Melissa and Jeff's big day! What a delight it was to see them! I cannot tell you enough how wonderful these two woman are. Jace and Jenny (brother-in-law and sister) were SO gracious to let us use there home. Not many people would be willing to let there sister and brother in law blow up and air mattress and sleep in there own bedroom. But with 9 people in the house (with 1 bathroom might I add), it was wonderful for Braden and I to have a place to sleep that wasn't in a public living space (we were going to end up sleeping in the dining room or kitchen otherwise). They fed us (did I mention that Jenny is a great cook?) and got Braden and I more that excited to have our own child as we watched them love and nurtures their too cute 17 month son, Joshua. I loved getting some girl time with Jenny and Mel where we could just talk for hours like we did when we were kids. I miss them so much! I am crossing my fingers and pray that they get to church plant in Indiana next year. It gets harder for me to leave them every time! Love you guys! Oh, and remember that I told you about the blinding back pain? Well, turns out that I was simply sleeping on a bad mattress and it wasn't pregnancy related at all. Suddenly, after 2 nights of sleeping on Melissa's bed that almost incapaciting back pain was completely gone. lol. Guess I should cancel that doctors appointment with the chiropractor!!! =)  

Lobby Outside the Sanctuary

Bridesmaids before rehearsal

The wedding was beautiful, Melissa was the perfect picture of a blushing bride, and Jeff is as amazing of a brother-in-law as I could ever hope to have! It is such a beautiful reminder of Christ's love for his Church. Ephesians 5 reminds us that marriage is about so much more than a legal commitment to one another. It is about how Christ loves his Church and sacrificed himself for her and how she (the Church) now loves and submits to him out of love and reverence for his leadership. How beautiful that he the Lord has been so gracious to our family. And we were so lucky as to get to spend time with Nick Kidwell and his beautiful ladyfriend Happy Tao. The last evening we were there we had a feast of leftovers from all the wedding food, watched the most ridiculous promotional video on back labor - don't ask - I have ever seen (especially with Happy and Nick's voice over commentary the whole time), and talked for hours afterwards. It was a wonderful send off to a great week!

Melissa and Jeff Exchanging Vows Before God and Man

Jenny and I wearing tacky shoes around the church

The Murphy Sisters (Actually Gogel, Schinella, and Hudson Sisters) with Husbands

Very Long Overdue - But So Much To Tell!!!

So I know our goal was to write every 2 weeks to a month. Yeah.... Blew that one out of the water. But we do have a good excuse… a couple actually. It is an understatement to say that our lives have been changing, and changing rapidly at that. It is no secret (especially with Shannon Collins as a soon to be Grandma) that Braden and I are expecting our first child! WHOO HOO!!! The Lord has been so gracious to us. It actually took us a little off guard. We had been told by many not to have our hopes up and getting pregnant can be a very long and frustrating time. We did not fit in that mold.

Baby at 10 weeks

A grand total of one time trying and Baby G. is now in the oven.  That first pregnancy test blew us out of the water with a nice clear + sign. Nothing really can prepare you for such a change. Watching my body and my health alter before my very eyes has caused me to panic, cry, and celebrate all at the same time! What a wonderful (though painful) opportunity for me to learn to die to myself for the good of this child. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “But [Christ] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” My wonderful husband reminds me of this often – as it is very easy to forget when you are exhausted by 8 o’clock and thinking that sleep is the only true escape from the nausea. Morning sickness, fatigue, and constant trips to the bathroom at 3 a.m. were definitely far from my radar when I romantically thought about the notion of having my first baby. In fact, my brain skips right to the cute big belly (never the back pain though) and the baby that comes shortly thereafter. But we are still a long way from that. I am currently 10 weeks with a baby the size of a kumquat (whatever that is). It's amazing though that just a few weeks ago the baby was only the size of a poppy seed!

The Lord began convicting us about bringing a child into this world several months ago. It was not a ‘NOW IS THE TIME’ type voice, but a steady desire to start a family. That voice should never be denied. We didn’t know how we would pay for it or how we would be able to function without my income, but through the help of several close friends from our church we were able to come to this conclusion – it isn’t faith if you have all your ducks in a row before you make a decision. There a 3 purposes for a godly marriage according to scripture:         

1)  To be a representation of Christ and his love for the Church (Ephesians 5) 

 2) Companionship (Genesis 2:24)  

3) To bear godly seed [children] (Genesis 1:18, Psalm 127:4-5)

What we have come to learn is that children should never simply be the mentality, "We will have kids when we have X job, X home, X savings, etc." Convenience isn't what it is about. But a desire to fulfill the Lord's purpose for marriage whenever HE sees fit, even if it hurts my career/savings account/freedom/______. Don't misunderstand me, I don’t presume to know or dictate other peoples convictions on when as where this takes place in life (it is never my place to judge such things - Romans 15), just commenting on a mentality that is so easy to have in this time and culture. It is a gift as well as a command from that Lord that we should be willing and eager to fulfill whenever the He impresses it upon us.

And God be praised, in our faithfulness to honor the Lord in having children, the Lord chose to bless Braden with a new job one week after we found out we were pregnant. He was so faithful to provide us with the finances for our baby that had caused us so much fear and doubt just weeks before. At the beginning of last month (February), Braden was offered a job at his long time home, Holiday World & Splashin’ Safari in Santa Claus, IN. Within 2 weeks of the job offer, Braden was here is Santa Claus and I was left at home to back the boxes. The Lord truly blessed me with the assistance of Shannon, my lovely mother-in-law, who spent the week helping me (or rather, I was sporadically helping her) pack up to move back in with Braden’s parents until we save enough for a down payment on a house. Braden seems to really be enjoying his new job, though he has come home a bit overwhelmed the past few days – inevitable when learning a new job, I guess. We are hopeful that this will really be an opportunity for Braden to advance in his career and teach him to grow in his ability to work and lead the family better through providing. 

I am hoping to substitute teach until the school year is over then simply work to prepare our new home (if the Lord choses to bless us with one by then) for the new arrival in September. It is humbling to move back in with parents after 5-6 years of independence - especially when it is our turn to start paying them back for all their kindness over the past 20 some years, but both sides of Braden's family, Jim and Shannon and Mike and Sue, have loved us and blessed us abundantly in this time of change. Jim and Shannon are allowing us to live with them. Mike and Sue have been so wonderful and helpful as we begin our search for a house (they have already scoped several out for us!) and, as the King and Queen of hard work and house flipping, I am sure we will be relying often on them to help us whip our 'fixer upper' into shape for the baby. I don't know what we would do without either of them. 

Tomorrow is Braden and I's first prenatal visit (Lord willing we may hear a heartbeat tomorrow!). We ask for continued prayers for the baby's health and development. Pray for our hearts and bodies to be ready for the ups and downs of parenthood, and the patience and discipline to teach our baby to love and know the Savior of the world, Jesus Christ. 

Grace and Peace be to you all, dear friends and family!